Lyrics
The Suburban Pirate's 13th nervous breakdown
I woke to see the sun, an English sun
And felt so warm and loved the chosen one
I heard the birdsong sweet of an English spring
And saw the proud British oak and the grass so green
And I drank the English drink, a nice cup of tea
And listened to the fall of the wickets on the BBC
And felt so English so at home so grounded
Till I realised its an illusion and so I'm changing I'm changing
There's a niggling feeling inside of me
Something's up with my nice cup of tea
It tastes the same but it's from another country
And the Engish boys in our brave cricket team
Look so English but are from Capetown and Sydney
What does it mean?
I'm losing I'm losing
I'm losing what it means to be me
I'm losing the English man in me
When I look into history the Victorian's so confused
Jerusalem was ironic nature was abused
And I could never be the white van man the quiet man or Tebbit
So what's left for me I just don't gedditt
Cause it can't be the colour cause we're all brown these days
It cant be the food cause roast beef's so pass
It's hardly the music cause even the Beatles were blues
I've given trying to prove the English rule so I'm changing I'm changing
There's a niggling feeling inside of me
Something's up with my nice cup of tea
It tastes the same but it's from another country
And the Engish boys in our brave cricket team
Look so English but are from Capetown and Sydney
What does it mean?
I'm losing I'm losing
I'm losing what it means to be me
I'm losing the English man in me
Oh No Cappucino
Oh no cappuccino
Oh no cappuccino
Cappucino is one of those rip of things things that brings me down
At 3 quid a go I'd rather go thirsty
At 3 quid a go I'd rather bite my nails
I love a little bit of frothy coffee but Im no mug
And you better give me something better than all that junk
Oh no cappuccino
Oh no cappuccino
Cappucino is one of those rip of things things that brings me down
Do you feel taken for a ride
By a misery who wont ever smile
If you want charge prices like this you better be nice
Like hugs all round and free bread and a slice
Oh no cappuccino
Oh no cappuccino
Cappucino is one of those rip of things things that brings me down
Cafes are for artists and musicians
Jean paul satre and Bob Dylan
Philosophy love letters and poems
Precious time never ending
But all you get in Starbucks is five minutes and no smoking
Oh no cappuccino
Oh no cappuccino
The Animals go in 4x4s
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The Chelsea tractor keeps the kids safe Oil and breeding going to waste
And they all go round and round Down on the Chelsea farm
Mrs Macdonald drives a Chelsea tractorMrs Macdonald does the best she can
Wheels it around the health farm trying to do no harm
Lady of the manor. sublte as a hammer
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The Chelsea tractor keeps the kids safe Oil and breeding going to waste
And they all go much to fast Down on the old school run
Mrs chav drives an suv Tries to keep away from the sobs
And though its only yards She finds its all too far
Gives the right impression Keeps away depression
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The shogun tank keeps the kids safe
From the pervs at the school gates
And they all go round and round driving their 4 by 4s
Ms Surburbia drives her subaru Dropping off the kids is what to do
She is high above us all Making us feel small
She's a middle class explorer discovering the town Beating back the natives making them frown
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The Animals go in 4 by 4s hurrah hurrah
The land rover tries to keeps the kids safe
While other kids die in her wake And they driving their 4 by 4s all much to fast
East Dulwich Bag
Met a guy walking down from Clapham I said where are you going my friend
He said there's something going on down south Past the tube train's end
I heard about the fancy butcher's and the herbal remedies
A place where I can rest my head
Maybe start a family
And with the planting of new trees and a rather nice deli
He realised he had an East Dulwich bag
East Dulwich bag East Dulwich bag it seems like I go to East Dulwich in my mind
Joining in the green revolution, South East London's evolution
I can relax with my East Dulwich bag
By the time we got to Dulwich we were 5000 strong Artists musicians and lovers mothers pushing prams along
Some were working to pay the bills, others appearing in 'The Bill'
Straight and gay together in one place
And with the planting of new trees and a rather nice deli
He realised he had an East Dulwich bag
East Dulwich Bag East Dulwich bag it seems like I go to East Dulwich in my mind
Joining in the green revolution, South East London's evolution
I can relax with my East Dulwich bag
Robin of Dulwich
Robin Robin striding though the village
Planting trees with other tories making Dulwich a little bit greener
Robin Robin she does the best she can
And though shes a tory thereÕs more to the story
Lets sing a song for Robin
SheÕs made an urban orchard down on Melbourne Grove
They named the trees and won awards, huh huh
She wants to brew some cider on National Apple Day
Looks like this little ladys gonna take this all the way
Chorus
Well I was cursing at the sheriff
That pesky Tessa Jowell
We dont seem to see her round no more
We held a fete she never came
Never never answered all my notes
Looks like Casino Tony has gone and stolen her heart
Chorus
Robin of Dulwich she came to help the poor
Oh.... there were no poor
Robin of Dulwich she came to give them trees.... lots of trees
A Cosy East Dulwich Christmas
Once in unspoiled Dulwich village Stood a desirable residence
And though its value started falling The family spared no expense
Looks like foxtons gonna have a shaky christmas
Im gonna have myself a shaky east Dulwich Christmas
Im gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time
This year Im gonna keep it local
Im gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time
Nip down the cheese block and join the queue
Nip down to William Rose and say howdya do
And though its all a bit of a bind it leaves Oxford St behind
Im gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time
Cruise Mrs Robinson browe Dr Boo
Taste Hope and Greenwood and even Mootoo to
And though it costs an arm and a leg
And our house is worth less and less
Im still gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time
Im gonna have myself a shaky east Dulwich Christmas
Im gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time
This year Im gonna keep it local
Im gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time
And the troubles of the world can wait, while Dulwich celebrates
Im gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time
Check out the Warehouse ponder Chandelier
IÕm keeping it local keeping it real
And when it comes to a snack
Its always gonna be Jacks
Im gonna have myself a cosy little Christmas time